夜晴
在我小学六年级那年，
那年，
我十二岁。
为我的十三岁放弃了独中，
选择了私人学校。
为我的十三岁放弃了中文，
选择了外语。
十二岁的我，其实想法很简单，
只是打从心底地很抗拒比繁重更繁重的功课。
在马来西亚，
华校一直都是最传统的教学系统，
功课繁重的程度，
在我六年级的时候，已经能够达到十份以上的作业，
我指的是，每一天。
所以十二岁的那一年，
我放弃了中文，
选择了外语。
而人每每直到放弃了，才晓得珍惜，
这总是最让人痛恨不已却屡试不爽的道理。
这总是最让人痛恨不已却屡试不爽的道理。
现在我不能说有多么地后悔，毕竟没有那时的选择，
或许没有今天的我。
但十年，已经快要磨光了我的笔对中文的记忆，
有好多字，我认得却写不出来。
而六年，只足够给了我一块为了进步准备的基石，
有好多字，我能够明白却读不出来。
这就占据了我一生中，
最深的遗憾之一。
。。。
可是，
在我无比珍惜中文的时候，
有部分所谓的华人，
却看不起本应该最是属于他们的语言。
或许接受过传统教育的我，
很传统。
我不晓得还有多少人，
认清自己的血液源自于那中华大陆，
不晓得在那一部分看不起中文的人里头，
有多少看见了自己正在羞辱着自己。
。。。
我只晓得我是华人，
很自豪的华人，
哪怕一天，中华大陆被认为是最落后的地方，
哪怕华人被认为是最羞耻的种族，
我还是华人，很自豪的华人。
所以请别称呼我为黄种人，或亚洲人，
如果你坚持称呼我为马来西亚人的时候，
请你稍微更正一下，称我为马来西亚华人。
---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------
clear night.
when the year i was standard 6,
i was 12 years old that year.
i gave up chinese secondary school for my 13,
and chose private school.
i gave up chinese for my 13,
and chose a second language.
the 12 years old me, has a very simple thinking at that time,
i just hate it so much for the homeworks which are heavier than the word, heavy.
in malaysia,
chinese school is always the most traditional education system,
u might want to know how heavy the homework can be,
when i was standard 6, the homeworks can go up to more than 10,
i mean, everyday.
so, when i was 12 years old,
i gave up chinese,
and i took a second language.
very often, when people gave up something, they started to appreciate it,
this is very annoying but it is something happen always.
this is very annoying but it is something happen always.
now i cant say that how much i regret about it, because without the decision that day,
i might not be understanding this today.
but 10 years, had already almost finish erasing my pen's memory of writing chinese,
so many words, i can recognize but i cant write it out with my pen.
and 6 years, can only give me a base which has space to improve,
so many words, i can understand but i cant read it out.
this had taken one of the biggest lost,
in my life.
...
but,
when i think chinese is so precious to me,
there are some so-called chinese,
they looked down on the language which is actually suppose to own by them so much.
may be i had traditional educated before,
thats why i am so traditional.
i dont know how many people out there,
realize their blood is origin from the mainland of chinese,
i dont know how many people from those who looked down on chinese,
realize that they are making shame of themselves.
...
what i only know that is i am a chinese,
a very proud chinese,
doesnt matter even if one day, the mainland being see as the land of uncivilized,
even if chinese being see as the race of shame,
i am still a chinese, a very proud chinese.
so please dont call me a yellow or an asian,
if u insist to call me a malaysian,
please at least correct a little, call me as a malaysian chinese.
