EARTH ` 地球

夜晴

乌鸦我想，

整栋房子只剩下自己一个人吧？

他们都出外吃饭去了。

乌鸦的周围都黑漆漆的，只剩下了电脑的荧幕还在透着光，

为什么呢？

因为乌鸦在响应着地球日啊！呵呵。

反正现在我是把自己关在黑漆漆的房间里面，

打着这篇部落格。

为了地球！哈哈哈哈。

哦！对了，

有件事一定要说说的。

话说乌鸦考完了模拟试后，

Faye 就一直嚷着要去吃晚餐，所以没法了，

只好一起去 Summit 吃吧。

就在差不多进入 Summit 的门口时，

远处传来了一阵女人的惊叫声，很响亮。

然后就看见远处一辆摩托车飚着离开，

依稀能看见后座的男人手里还抓着什么东西。

掠夺匪？

后来走上了楼梯才看见事主，

证实了乌鸦所想。

唉，

这就是马来西亚啊。

所以大家在路上行走时，请记得小心安全啊！

尤其是女生们。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear night.

i think,

the whole house only left myself alone?

they all went out for dinner.

my surrounding are all dark, except for my pc screen is still having light,

why?

because im having earth hour lah! heh.

whatever, i only know that im locking myself inside a dark room,

typing this blog post.

for the earth! hahahaha.

oh yeah!

something i must say, its about today.

say today after i finished my mock test,

Faye keep asking to go dinner, so no idea lah,

we go Summit eat together.

when we almost enter Summit's entrance,

someone screamed from far and it sounds like a lady, very loud.

and then i saw a motorcycle speeding away at far,

i can hardly see the one sitting behind is grabbing something in his hand.

snatch thief?

later when we walked up to the stairs only we saw the lady,

proved what i was thinking is right.

sigh,

this is Malaysia lah.

so everyone please be careful when ur walking on the street, aware of ur safety!

especially the girls.

《对不起，我自私》

在妳双眼渴望着接触玻璃外更精彩的事物时，

我却自私地只想晃动妳的世界。

不给妳机会，

让妳只能专心地看着我。

对不起，

我心里偷偷地说。

有个女生说，试着，用几米的插画写你的文字。

所以我写了。

LYRIC ` 【把悲伤留给自己】歌词

【把悲伤留给自己】

能不能让我　陪著你走　既然你说　留不住你

回去的路　有些黑暗　担心让你　一个人走

我想是因为　我不够温柔　不能分担　你的忧愁

如果这样　说不出口　就把遗憾　放在心中

把我的悲伤　留给自己　你的美丽　让你带走

从此以后　我再没有　快乐起来的理由

把我的悲伤　留给自己　你的美丽　让你带走

我想我可以忍住悲伤　可不可以　你也会想起我

是不是可以　牵你的手呢　从来没有　这样要求

怕你难过　转身就走　那就这样吧　我会了解的

把我的悲伤　留给自己　你的美丽　让你带走

从此以后　我再没有　快乐起来的理由

我想我可以忍住悲伤　假装生命中没有你

从此以后　我在这里　日夜等待　你的消息

能不能让我　陪著你走　既然你说　留不住你

无论你在　天涯海角　是不是你　偶尔会想起我

可不可以　你也会想起我　可不可以　可不可以　可不可以

A CHILD ` 小孩

夜雨

今天 Wan-Jay 没来，

可怜的家伙，他得了红眼症。

也导致了 JuanEr 今天都没有玩伴，

那乌鸦只好陪 JuanEr 说说话聊天啦。

唉，这是苦差啊～

JuanEr 说话就好像唱饶舌似的，

分析她说的话，总会让乌鸦的脑袋当机。

“Mommy Baba 去买东西买大鱼 Baba 是大人喝大杯 Mommy 喝小小杯 ErEr 喜欢 Mommy 家的婆婆。。。”

我的天哪，这是一口气说完的。

额头都出冷汗了当时。

找了个机会逃到了婴儿房里时，

哈，看见了 Jayden 那怪趣的模样，呵呵。

这小家伙越来越古灵精怪了他，

想了想，

如果有能力，自己也好想有个小孩。

啊，老了啦？呵呵～


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


rainy night.

today Wan-Jay absent,

this poor fellow, got red eye infection.

also cause JuanEr has no friend to play with, today,

so i got to accompany her and chit chat with her.

sigh, such a tough job lah~

JuanEr really talks like she's rapping,

to understand what is she talking, always make my brain stuck.

"Mommy Baba buy things buy big fish Baba is big he uses big cup Mommy uses small small cup ErEr likes Popo from Mommy's house..."

oh my god, she says this in one shot.

big sweat lah that time.

i found a chance then sneak into the baby room,

lolz, i saw Jayden's funny face, heh.

this little fella is starting to have patterns now,

i then thought of,

if i have this ability, i really hope to have a child myself.

lolz, im old already.

SHOCKS ` 虚惊

夜晴

昨天去学校练习的时候，

老天给乌鸦来了两场虚惊。

因为迟了，所以乌鸦把车子驾得很快，140时速公里。

但在离收费站一段路之前，乌鸦开始减速了。

突然，眼光瞥处，

发现了个男人蹲在桥下，以三角架撑着相机拍照。

乌鸦感觉有点儿不对劲，

过了收费站后，就看见了前方的警察在拦车子。

我心里说 “完了”，而且明白之前那家伙拍照是干嘛的了。

故作镇定地慢慢驶去，

哎？乌鸦被放行了，呵。

是因为乌鸦刚好减速得及时吧？

这是虚惊一场。

。。。

到了学校后，进入了学校的地下停车场。

这是个很糟糕的停车场，

我想我大约转了至少二十分钟，

一直在找着是否有人要离开。

很幸运的，确实遇见了好几辆车离开，

而很倒霉的，都被人捷足先登了。

转啊转，

停车场里的道路都非常窄，因为好多家伙胡乱停车。

就在乌鸦转了大约二十分钟后，

很汗颜地说，乌鸦竟然卡在了一个转角处。。。

乌鸦的车子和旁边的一辆大车靠得很近，

迫不得已，唯有慢慢退回去了。

就在这时候，大车的车主刚好来了，

看见他一脸紧张，眼睛睁得像金鱼般大的跑了过来。

然后他摸了摸他车尾的边处，那儿有一道很明显的刮痕，

乌鸦的心里登时凉了半截，“不会是我吧？我可没感觉到啊？”

然后就望见了车主那张他妈的臭脸，

就好像我把他的车子都给辗成了碎片似的，

他已经认定了是我做的吧？

乌鸦也心头火起，把车窗打开了，

问了问一直在现场的保安人员，如果真的是乌鸦的话，乌鸦就认栽了！

哼哼！保安人员说不是哦！

乌鸦瞄了那家伙一眼，

就轻蔑地道：“不是我，好吧？这儿那么多车子经过。”

娘的，死矮子骂了句粗口后，就驶走了。

呼～虚惊第二场，如果不是保安人员在这里作证，

乌鸦我就赔定钱还要受气了。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear night.

yesterday when i was going to college to practice,

god gave me 2 shocks.

because already late, so i drove quite fast, 140 km/h.

but i started to slow down earlier before i reach the toll.

suddenly, i saw something,

i found a man crouching under the bridge with a camera, shooting photos.

i felt something wrong,

after i passed the toll, i saw police blocking cars at the front.

i said "shit" in my heart, now i know what the hell is that fella shooting just now.

so i try to be calm and drive,

eh? i passed, heh.

think it's because i slowed down in time ba?

seriously gave me a shock.

...

after i reached my college, i entered the underground car park.

this is a terrible car park,

i guess i turn round and round like at least 20 minutes long,

i was keep waiting and see if anyone leaves,

im really lucky, i really met few cars leaving,

and very unfortunately, there are always other cars got it before me.

turn and turn,

the car park is very narrow, because a lot of people simply park at the side.

after i had turned like about 20 minutes,

such a shame lah, i stucked at one corner...

i cant pass it, my car is so near to the big car besides me,

i forced to go backward slowly.

unexpectedly, the big car owner came at this moment,

i saw his eyes widening like a goldfish and running towards his car quickly.

then he touches his car butt's corner, there is an obvious scratch,

i was so surprised at that moment, "not me huh? how come i didnt feel that ah?"

then i saw his fucking face，

like i crushed his car into pieces,

i guess he already think that im the one who scratched his car?

i can feel my heart is burning, i scroll down my door glass,

i asked the security guard who was here at that time, if it's really me, then i will pay it!

heng heng! the security guard said no woh!

i looked at that fella,

then said it impatiently: "it's not me okay? there are so many cars passing here."

idiot, the fucked up shorty spit out a rude word and then he driven away.

phew~ another shock, man. if it wasnt the security guard here be my witness,

i got to pay that fella and also need to see that fuck face.

FRACTIONS ` 零碎的片段

早晴

昨晚的她，

梦里的她，怎么了？

怎么口里哼着我喜欢的歌？

那扇门，又是什么？

梦里我似乎流下了眼泪，

那是梦么？

朦胧间，我猛地弹了起来，

左小腿的抽筋惊醒了我。

那时，我分不清真假，

这零碎的片段。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear day.

the girl last night,

the girl in the dream, why? what happened?

why is she humming the song i love?

that door, also what is it?

i seems to be tearing in the dream,

is it a dream?

unconsciously, i quickly bounced up,

my left leg cramping and the pain shocked me.

that moment, i cant differentiate between reality and illusionary,

these fraction of the dream.

SOLD ` 卖了

今晚，

我把心里仅剩的那一小片地方，也卖了。

卖了给一个叫作自私的商人，

以换取快乐。

我只想要快乐，

就算那是自私的快乐。

LATE AND BABIES ` 迟到与小瓜们

午晴

手里提着钥匙，背着笔记本。

望了望那阴沉沉的天空，

再望了望手表，深吸了口气。

“今天早出门，就算不早到也不会迟到吧？” 乌鸦是这样想的。

。。。

大约一个小时后，

乌鸦坐在车上看着外面的轰隆大雨，一直昏昏欲睡，

心里也早已经把这个想法给抛到九天之外去了。

。。。

两个小时过去了，

乌鸦的车子终于到达了中心，

心里的那个郁闷，实在难以表达出来。

“又迟到了，贼老天。”

下车时，乌鸦心里不停地咒骂着。

车子啊，我说，请你长出一对翅膀吧！

-

除了一早塞车的不快之外，

其实今天还能算是个好天的。

看着 Rachel 这个粘人的小淘气，

抓着乌鸦的裤子，然后踏在乌鸦的脚上，玩得不亦乐乎。

我也玩心一起，就把小淘气踏着的脚稍微提起来，

不停地重复，

小淘气就玩得不停地咯咯声笑，呵呵。

今天偶然发现 Jayden 开始学着站起来了，

噢～很快就会学走了吧。

咱们心里就喜愁参半了，

喜的当然是他学走了，愁的也是因为他学走了，

天哪，快要多个到处跑的小瓜啦！

Rachel 这不知死活的小家伙，还大胆地如往常那般欺负 Jayden，

乌鸦摇了摇头想，

“妳呀，都没看 Jayden 长得满身横肉吗？”

“待他能走动的时候，就是他狠狠报复妳的时候了！”

想到这里，乌鸦不禁打了个冷颤。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear noon.

holding my car key, with my laptop at my side.

took a look at the dark sky,

then look at my watch, a deep breath.

"today came out earlier, even im not reaching earlier also wont become late ba?" i thought so.

...

about an hour later,

i was sitting in the car watching the heavy rain outside, sleepily,

for the previous thought, i had already given up in my heart sometimes ago.

...

after two hours,

my car finally reached the centre,

the frustration in my heart, seriously hard to express it out.

"late again, god damn it."

coming down from the car, i was cursing in my heart.

my car ah, i said, please grow urself a pair of wings ba!

-

other than the unhappy jam in the morning,

today actually still consider as a good day.

looking at Rachel, this little naughty,

holding my pants and stepping on my feet, having so much fun.

then me too being a bit playful, so i slightly lifting up the feet she is stepping,

then repeating it,

that little naughty play until giggling non-stop, lolz.

today also i found Jayden is starting to stand,

aww~ very soon he will be able to walk ba.

we have mix feeling about this,

happy for him because he can walk, worry also because he can walk,

gosh, there will be another baby running around lah!

Rachel this little fella still didnt know how dead is she when she is still bullying Jayden like usual,

i shook my head and thinking,

"u ah, cant u see how muscular Jayden is?"

"when he can walk, that will be the time he starts his revenge on u lah!"

suddenly, i shivered.

SMILEY FACE ` 笑脸

夜晴

看着这三张卡片，有点儿哭笑不得的感觉。

哦，忘了说，还附带着三个信封，

呵呵。

是三张笑脸。

这就是花了乌鸦和 Faye 一人五块的东西。

今天一起在 Summit 的麦当劳里买的，

是个戴着眼镜斯斯文文的小伙子，

手里拿着个文件夹，

不停口地介绍和说着他售卖这小袋子（卡片都在小袋子里）的目的。

乌鸦就一边咬着面包，一边看着那快速翻过的资料，（反正他说太快，听不了）

但特别关注的其实是他身为义工的身份证明。

“应该是真的吧？” 我想。

望了望 Faye，

“怎么样？要不要买个？” 我问。

“要不我们一起买一个吧？” Faye 说，呵呵，正合我意。（钱带得不多）

其实这都是捐给痉挛儿童的，

乌鸦不介意出这么一点儿绵力，

因为我想如果每个人都觉得其他人会捐，而自己就不用费心的话，

那怎么能足够帮助那些不幸的人呢？

而至于他们是否真的用这些钱来帮助别人，

那真的不晓得了，

但有些时候，能帮的就别犹豫太多吧。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------



--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear night.

looking at the 3 cards, feeling a bit funny,

oh, forgot there are also 3 envelopes,

heh.

it's 3 smiley faces.

these are what spent me and Faye 5 dollars each person.

we bought it together at Summit's Mcd,

it was a young man with a spectacle,

with a folder on his hand,

non-stop introducing and talking about why is he selling this little plastic bag (cards are inside).

i was looking at the quick flipping folder while eating my burger, (he speaks too fast, i cant even listen)

but what i really concern about is his social worker's identity.

"should be real i guess?" i think.

looked at Faye,

"how? buy one?" i asked.

"what about we buy one together?" Faye said, heh, thats what i thought too. (didnt bring much money with me)

actually all these are donating to the children with Spasticity,

i dont really mind giving a little help,

because i think if everyone thinks the others will do it so they dont need to help,

then how is it going to be enough to help those unfortunate people?

i too dont know if they really use these money to help the others,

seriously we never know,

but sometimes, if we can help then dont need to reconsider too much ba.

QUIET ` 宁静

午晴

不晓得为啥每个星期日，总有股冲动想要出去，

潜意识里，

也许是想补偿以前常呆在家的那段时间，

也或许是在担心寂寞一发不可收拾吧？

习惯性地抬头望了望窗外，

层层云朵之后，出现的一片蔚蓝，

光亮的阳光从窗外探了进来，

在地上留下了一道光与暗的倒影。

阵阵微风正轻轻地拨弄着窗帘，

而摆动着的窗帘与窗外静止的景色，竟相映成一副宁静的画。

耳边听着邓丽君的【你怎么说】，

心里感觉无比写意。

至于没能出去，就算了吧，呵。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


clear noon.

dont know why every sunday, i will have this urge to go out,

in subconscious mind,

may be i just wanted to pay back for those times i always stay home last time,

or may be im afraid the loneliness becoming uncontrollable ba?

as a habit, i looked outside my window,

after all the clouds, a wide blue sky came into my eyes,

bright sunlight entering my room through the window,

leaving a reflection of light and shadow.

breeze is gently fiddling the curtain,

the waving curtain with the still scene outside the window, they've became a peaceful picture.

listening to Teresa Teng's 【Ni Zen Me Shuo】,

feeling so relax,

for being unable to go out, also nevermind ba, heh.

RANDOM ` 随意

早阴

昨晚半夜三点多才睡，

六点多，乌鸦睁开了眼睛，望了望那显得稍微阴暗的窗外。

自忖，怎么在这个时候醒了？

闭上眼睛，满脑子开始出现好多奇怪的念头，

七点多，辗转难眠，还是起床吧。

洗了脸后，

懒洋洋地坐在电脑前，看着自己昨晚的成果，

感觉还挺满意的，

如果有常看乌鸦的部落格，就一定能发现什么不一样。

-

这几天乌鸦确实过得比较轻松，

也似乎不再胡乱地钻牛角尖了。

可是，

这并不代表，我很快乐。

乌鸦发现在这几天里，

找不到让我快乐的理由，找不到让我快乐的因素。

不是的，

乌鸦我也不是感觉悲伤。

只是，心里那一段突兀的空白，

实在难以掩盖。

我正告诉别人，别因为寂寞而恋爱。

告诉自己，别因为寂寞而恋爱。

乌鸦不会因为寂寞而恋爱，

而同时，

也不会理智地恋爱。

但乌鸦想要个温暖的怀抱，

给我少许力量，

背起妳我一辈子的担待。


---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文，不懂的看英文，都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------


cloudy day.

last night i slept at 3 plus in the midnight,

6 plus, i opened my eyes, looked at the window which seems a little dark outside.

wondering, why am i waking up at this time?

closed my eyes, many weird thinkings are coming into my mind,

7 plus, i guess i just cant sleep, wake up then.

washed my face,

sat in front of my pc lazily, looking at what i produced last night,

feeling kinda satisfy,

if anyone often visits my blog will know what is the difference.

-

these few days i was quite relax, really,

and seems that i no longer putting myself into a dead end again.

but,

it doesnt mean that, im very happy.

i found myself in these few days,

i cant find any reasons to be happy, cant find any factors to be happy.

no,

i am not feeling sad either.

but, there's this unnatural blank in my heart,

really unable to cover from myself.

i was telling people, do not fall in love because of loneliness.

telling myself, do not fall in love because of loneliness.

i will not love because of loneliness,

and at the same time,

i dont love logically.

but i want a warm and tight hug,

give me a little strength,

picking up this life long responsibility of u and me.