skip to main |
skip to sidebar
©2009 *Sortvind
有一天,柏拉图问老师苏格拉底,“ 老师,请问什么是爱情?”
“ 你到麦田走一次,要不回头地往前走,” “ 在途中摘一棵全麦田里最大最金黄的的麦穗,但你只可以摘一次。” 苏格拉底吩咐道。
“ 这很容易嘛?” 柏拉图心里觉得很奇怪,充满信心地出去了。谁知过了半天他仍然没有回来,
最后,柏拉图一脸垂头丧气地出现在苏格拉底跟前,
“ 本来好不容易看见了一棵又大又金黄, 但因为不知道前面是否有更好的,所以就没有摘。”“ 走到前面时,又发觉总不及之前见到的好,”“ 于是,直到已经走到尽头了,才发觉自己手上一棵麦穗也没有。”“ 原来麦田里最大最金黄的麦穗,我早就错过了。”这时,苏格拉底对着柏拉图微微笑,“ 这就是爱情了。”另一天,柏拉图又问苏格拉底,“ 老师,请问什么又是婚姻呢?”“ 这次你到彬树林给我走一次,要不回头地往前走,”“ 在途中要取最大最茂盛、最适合放在家作圣诞树的树,”“ 同样的,你也只可以取一次 。” 苏格拉底缓缓说道,眼中似乎正散发着智慧的光芒。柏拉图自从有了上回的教训后,自忖不会再重蹈覆辙,所以充满着信心地出去了。
半天之后,他一身疲惫地拖了一棵看起来直挺、翠绿,却有点稀疏的杉树回来。
“ 这就是最好的树材吗?” 苏格拉底一脸奇怪地望着柏拉图。柏拉图有点儿不好意思,“ 有了上一次的经验后,当我走到大半的路程发现还两手空空时,”“ 看到这棵树其实也不太差,便就砍了下来,免得待会错过了后,又什么都带不出来。”这时,苏格拉底微笑道,“ 那这就是婚姻了。”自那天以后不久,柏拉图又问苏格拉底,“ 老师,请问外遇是什么?”苏格拉底沉吟了一阵,“ 你还是到树林走一次,这次你可以来回走,”“ 但在途中要取一支最好看的花回来。” 苏格拉底如是吩咐道。“ 树林里的花朵很多,而且又轻便,应该很容易。” 柏拉图又充满着信心地出去。两个小时之后,他精神抖擞地带回了一支颜色艳丽但稍稍焉掉的花,“ 这就是最好的花吗?” 苏格拉底问道。柏拉图点了点头,“ 老师,我找了两小时,发现这确实是最盛开最美丽的花儿,”“ 但我采下来后,在带回来的路上,它就逐渐枯萎下来了。”
这时,苏格拉底轻叹了一口气,“ 这就是外遇。”柏拉图若有所悟地望着苏格拉底,再次问道,“ 老师,那什么是生活呢?”苏格拉底深深地望了柏拉图一眼,“ 你再次到树林走一次,同样地可以来回走,”“ 然后在途中再取一支最好看的花回来吧。” 说完,苏格拉底就缓缓闭上眼睛养神。柏拉图有了之前一系列的教训,总感觉自己获益良多。“ 这次我晓得该怎么做了。” 於是,柏拉图自信满满地走了出去。如此过了三天三夜,柏拉图音讯全无。苏格拉底只好走进树林里去找他,最后发现柏拉图竟然在树林里安营扎寨。苏格拉底唤了柏拉图一声,“ 柏拉图啊,你找着了最好看的花么?”柏拉图自豪地指着边上的一朵花,“ 老师,这不就是最好看的花吗?”苏格拉底微微点了点头,“ 那你为什么不把它带出去呢?”“ 老师,如果我把它摘下来了,它马上就会枯萎。”“ 但即使我不摘它,它也迟早会枯。所以我就在它还盛开的时候,住在它边上。”“ 等它凋谢的时候,再找下一朵。这已经是我找着的第二朵最好看的花了。”柏拉图一脸满足地说道。这时,苏格拉底满意地说道,“ 很好,很好。你已经懂得生活的真谛了。”注:转载,只对原文作了些更改,其中含义原封不动。
乌鸦第一篇全英文,可是是转载的。哈哈。FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNERGolden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the 1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here.Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.Two things can happen in a marriage:(1) You can grow together, or(2) You can grow apart.50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right". So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world:(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal Comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.Another perspective...There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.Pay attention...
Which ones lift and which ones lean?Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.Do you bring out the best in each other?Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?What do you bring to the relationship?Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:1. TRUST2. COMMUNICATION3. INTIMACY4. A SENSE OF HUMOR5. SHARING TASKS6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENTIf these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.Wish you all a blessed day.
你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗?
喜欢和爱咫尺千里。
当你喜欢一个人时,你想和他在一起,因为他会带给你快乐;离开后,你会想念,想着想着就会笑,然后继续你平静的生活,并期待着与他再一次重逢。当你爱一个人时,你想和他在一起,那是一种牵肠挂肚的舍不得,怕他受委屈,怕他不能好好照顾自己;离开后,你也会想念,想着想着叹一口气,‘不知他现在过得怎样?’然后你继续你平静的生活,希望他早日回到你身边。你喜欢的人在你眼中是天使,无所不能,他总会满足你的任性的要求。你爱的人在你眼中是孩子,傻傻的,你不期望他做出什么‘好事’来,只一味纵容他那些让人哭笑不得的举动。你会希望你喜欢的人陪着你,然而你心中想的可能是你爱的人;你会希望陪在你爱的人身边,看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不设防的样子,你会微笑,会觉得好幸福。你喜欢的人伤害了你,你会生气,并且一定要让他哄着骗着逗你笑你才原谅他;你爱的人伤害了你,你只会独自伤心,因为你怕对他大吼大叫会吓着他,你忧伤地微笑着,看着他的眼睛,一旦发现他的眼里流露出歉意和悔恨,你会立即心疼地搂他在怀里,那一刻,你也是幸福的。你可以同时喜欢很多人,你会希望和很多人在一起,但也许很多年后你才发现,原来你爱的就只有那么一个,就那么一个,怎么都不会变,你以为把他忘记了,其实只是忙得没空想起而已,对于你喜欢的人,你关注的是他的优点;对于你爱的人,你关注的是他的缺点,并且,那些缺点如果无关原则的话,它们在你眼里是可爱的,独一无二的。喜欢和爱其实只有一纸之隔,任何爱都从喜欢开始,当有天你突然发现,你喜欢的那个人在你眼中不再完美,而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般让你更加依依不舍,你会觉得与他光彩照人的一面相比,你更愿意看他在你面前无助的表情,不知道是不是应该祝贺你,总之,你的感情升华了 --仰慕不是爱,甚至不是喜欢,当你对一个人只有仰慕之情时,你们在一起便失去了和谐。有人说爱一个人很累,的确是,因为你想为他承担,可是爱与喜欢相比最大的魅力就在于,当你和爱的人在一起时,你的感觉就像回家了!
---------------------------------------- 懂中文的看中文,不懂的看英文,都懂的不能笑我的英文 -----------------------------------------
--------------------------------- dont understand chinese read english, but dont laugh at my english ---------------------------------
can u differentiate between love and like?
like and love look similar but they are actually diferent.
when u like someone, u wanted to be with him/her, he/she will brings u happiness;
after that, u will think of him/her, by thinking u will smile, and then continue ur peaceful life,
but looking forward to meet up again.
when u love someone, u wanted to be with him/her, u will miss him/her very much, worrying that he/she is not happy,
worrying that he/she doesnt know how to take care;
after that, u will also think of him/her, by thinking u will sigh, 'wondering how is he/she recently?'
and then continue ur peaceful life, hoping him/her to come back to u as soon as possible.
the one u like is like an angel in ur eyes, he/she can do anything, always satisfying ur unreasonable request.
the one u love is like a child in ur eyes, a bit silly, u never hope he/she doing something "good",
u will just spoil him/her by letting he/she doing silly things.
u will hope the one u like accompany by ur side, but u might be thinking of the one u love;
u will hope to accompany the one u love, watching him/her sleeping tight securely in front of u, u will smile, u will feel happy.
when the one u like hurts u, u will get angry, then u will need him/her to comfort u before u forgive him/her;
when the one u love hurts u, u will only feeling sad alone, because u afraid u might scare him/her by shouting,
u smile sadly, looking into his/her eyes,
whenever u saw him/her feeling sorry or regret, u feel heartache and will hug him/her immediately,
at that moment u are also happy.
u might like a lot of people at the same time, u might hope to be with many people,
but may be after many years then u found, only one that u love,
only one will be, never change no matter what, u thought u forgot, but actually it's because u are too busy to remember only.
to the one u like, what u concern is his/her good;
to the one u love, what u concern is his/her bad, moreover, if it is nothing with the principle, u will think it's lovely, unique to u.
like and love are so similar, every love starts with like, one day u might found that, the one u like is not perfect anymore,
his/her flaws make u missing him/her even more, u will find that comparing to his/her sunny smile and happy face,
u will prefer to see him/her feeling helpless in front of u, wonder if i should congrats u,
anyway ur feeling had sublimated ----
admire is not love, not even like, when u only having the feeling of admire to a person,
u will lose the harmony time when u both get together.
some people said that, to love someone is tiring, yes it is, because u wanted to share his/her emotions,
but the most attractive part between love and like is actually,
when u be with someone u love, u feel like ur home!
偶然无聊在别人的部落格里看见这个,不知道有没有女朋友的?
-
*谁可以当男朋友,谁只能当普通朋友。*
普通朋友:半夜会找妳上网聊天到很晚。
男朋友:半夜看妳还在网上会赶妳下线。(当然妳可以拗个几分钟)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他会找妳出去玩,叫妳放弃报告或翘课。
男朋友:他会催妳快点写作业,或者想要跟妳讨论功课。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:在妳生病时,会讲好话关心妳。
男朋友:在妳生病时,他会关心到妳很烦,而且逼妳去看医生。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他会尽量说好话来讨好妳,妳会觉得他很棒。
男朋友:他所说的话,都是关心妳的!但通常像是在命令妳,妳会觉得他干嘛这么做。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他什么事情都会配合着妳,只要妳高兴。
男朋友:他会帮妳辨别是非,但妳会觉得他管太多。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他会说他要给妳最大的幸福。
男朋友:他只能给妳保证,妳跟他在一起,他是最快乐的。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他会帮妳买宵夜,送宵夜,载妳上下课。
男朋友:他会帮妳买宵夜,不过他会提醒妳,吃什么比较健康。
他会载妳上下课,不过要他有顺路,因为他不能为妳而翘课。
因为他翘课,他成绩便会不好,成绩不好不会有好工作。
那你们将来日子怎么会好过,他会想得很远。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
普通朋友:他只有想到现在。
男朋友:他已经预见将来,该怎么自我努力,好给妳幸福。-
看到这里,突然感觉自己有点儿奇怪了。